10 Things A Guy Should NEVER have in his ski kit

1. HANDWARMERS

Man up and wave your hands around in the air (but not off-piste, above your head, unless you really do want that heli to rescue you).

2. COMB

Only the piste should be perfectly groomed. Helmet hair? Pah. Put a beanie on for apres.

3. SKI (OR BOARD) CARRIER

Carry your skis over your shoulder (or board under your arm) like a real man.

4. FLEECE-LINED CROCS

Like being sent to style Siberia (not skiing Siberia, obvs, which is a good thing). Along with anything else fleece or fur lined. Unless you're an Eskimo.

4b FUGGS

Fake Uggs - one step worse than MUGGS, man Uggs

5. AFTERSHAVE

Too many Diesel fumes will choke you while enclosed in high-zipped jacket, helmet and goggles- and everyone else in the cable car/gondola/bubble. Besides, shave?

6. FAKE TAN

We'd all know it's not a real winter snow tan because, dude, where are the panda eyes?

7. GRAN'S KNITTED SWEATER

Too Mr Darcy unless you want to attract a Bridget Jones (and you've seen how she skis).

8. TRAVEL POUCH

A travel pouch is still, ultimately, a bumbag. For Italian men, only. Use one of the many convenient zip pockets specifically designed for mobile/wallet/skipass in your ski/board jacket (and, er, don't forget to zip them up).

9. PISTE MAP

Real guys suss out the terrain and always keep a sense of direction (plus Google maps or InReach Garmin).

9b. PISTE MAP PRINT ON LENS CLOTH

Pretending to wipe goggles while checking the route to the chairlift? Blatantly cheating.

10. BLADES

Short 'skis', short on style and mountain cred. Grow a bigger pair.