Do You have OCD, Off-piste Compulsive Disorder?
Obsessed with off-piste and likely to binge on shredding powder? Antisocial behaviour on bluebird days? Manic episodes when there's powder? A phobia of leaving the white room? Then get on the couch with our therapist and discover if you have OCD. . .
1.. What are your symptons?
I can't sleep when it's snowing all night. I become anxious about how much will fall and antisocial when I know it's going to be a powder day. And, if there's no powder, then I become equally antisocial and snap at anyone who says 'Why don't we just ride on the piste?'
2. What was your situation when you first noticed your symptoms?
One day, I was riding on the piste, the next I went off the side and before you know it I was shredding the powder. I couldn't help myself. Since then, I've never been the same again.
3. What is your situation now?
Well, I can only just control it if I can't see out of the window when it's snowing. But I have to be locked in my room with the blinds down.
4. How many brothers and sisters do you have? What is your position in the birth order? What is their attitude toward you? How do they get along in life? Do they also have any illness relating to snow?
I'm the middle child out of three. We all get along fine. They don't show any symptoms, but then they don't ski or snowboard.
5. What are your earliest childhood snow recollections?
Being thrown into a snowdrift by my oldest brother. He expected me to cry but instead I loved it.
6. What did you fear as a child?
That my older brother would throw my younger brother in the snow instead of me..
7. Describe your parents as to their character and their attitude to snow and to yourself growing up?
My parents are normal. We never went skiing but, when it snowed at home in the UK, we went out and threw snowballs..
8. Do you have outbursts of temper, pedantic, domineering or impatient?
Yes, yes when it's a powder day and anything delays me from getting on the first lift. If a mate is faffing and forgets their goggles. Or if a UCPA group is in front of me high on the ridge getting to the powder bowl first.
9. So you and these UCPA people are all high? This will contribute to your disorder. And I notice you're wearing a t-shirt that says, 'No Friends On A Powder Day'. Do you find it difficult to make friends? Afraid they might turn out to be bullies like your brother?
No, I do have friends but I won't wait for them if they're in bed. I wouldn't miss a bluebird.
10. A bluebird? Do you have a vivid imagination? See things other people don't?
Sometimes I see pillows that others seem to miss.
11, Pillows? How do you sleep?
Cuddling my avy bag in case I forget it on a powder day.
12. What dreams do you have? (Falling, flying, recurrent dreams, prophetic, about examinations, missing a train).
My nightmare is Homer Simpson coming after me in a giant snowball.
13. Hmmm that sounds like a deeply rooted fear created by childhood snowball games. I think it's obvious that you do have OCD, Obsessive Off-Piste Compulsive disorder. Clearly we must blame the parents.
What do you suggest?
I think you need help. I suggest somewhere away from others. A calming white room.
The white room? Just what I need.